As I stated earlier, I had to find God in order to discover me. At first I did not like the process of finding who I really am. When you find God you can finally see how messed up you truly are. The prophet Isaiah had this experience when he saw God in the temple. He cried: "Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, Jehovah of hosts." Isa. 6:5 NIV. Even if you have been sheltered and in church all your life, you cannot avoid this - we were all born into sin. But the discovery was not all bad. God has a way of shining His Light just a little at time so I had time to take it in and make changes.
The greatest thing I discovered about me while in the pit is that I had within me the power to affect my destiny regardless of my present circumstance. WOW. No matter how many excuses I made about who had hurt me and how I had got into the pit in the first place - God showed me that it did not matter. Because He had given me all the power I would ever need to make a turn around and to have the destiny that I desire.
"But this precious treasure -- this light and power that now shine within us -- is held in perishable containers, that is, in our weak bodies. So everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own" 2nd Cor. 4-7 NLT.
So here I am wallowing in my self-pity and God comes along and tells me I have the power to change (if I wanted to) the direction my life was heading in. Now this is key - , often we don't want to change. As awful as the pit is, we can get use to it. We can love a dysfunctional mess in a minute and refuse to let go of it. Pitiful, isn't it?
But power is of no use if you are blinded to it or if you refuse to use it. It's like hearing that you have a million dollars in your checking account, ready and available for you to spend and you never check the validity of it because:
1. you don't believe the source that told you so- you think it is a hoax
2. you are too scared to find out if it is true - you are not sure you can handle it
3. you don't want to be obligated to anyone - especially if you think they will now have control over you.
What do you do when you are faced with the truth of your situation that you really don't want to deal with?
You make a decision. Life or Death. Victory or Defeat.
It may sound easy but I can assure it is not. Because when you are in a pit, the obvious is not so obvious; and your vision can be totally obscured.
Stay tuned.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Knowing God
Knowing God. When I stated that we have to know God, I am not implying that any one person can actually know or understand God and all His God-ness. The prophet Isaiah writes "I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work." God's Decree. "For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think" (Isaiah 55:8-9 MSG). So God does not expect us to do something He did not create us to do. So what does it really mean to know God? Let me try to expressit in my limited way.
Knowing God to me is like this:
Imagine being born in a place where they are no mirrors, no way of seeing a reflection. The only facial image you can see is those around you but you have never seen what your face look like. Wierd isn't it? You can analyze your body parts from the shoulders down, so you have some general idea about basic stuff like your skin color and you can feel parts like your nose but you have never seen it. You guess a lot of stuff about yourself. You imagine a lot of stuff about yourself. You assume a lot of stuff about your. Imagine one day, someone comes into your house and brings you a mirror and for the first time you have the reality of what you look like. You see You in the reflection of the mirror and immediately you know if all you had guessed, imagined or assumed about yourself is true.
Now in my analogy, God is the mirror. Here is how a mirror works:
"Light is a form of energy, and when it hits a surface, such as a mirror, it is reflected or bounced from the surface. This is similar to a ball bouncing off a wall. The reflected image is comprised of photons, which are particles of light. When these photons initially hit the mirror they cause electrons to vibrate within atoms, which in turn produces an identical light photon" (Ann Johnson, eHow contributor). I hope that was not too much science...LOL.
Anyway, knowing God takes God. You cannot know Him without Him first showing up. In other words you cannot sneak up on God. Knowing God is when He allows the Light of His Presence to bounce off Himself and you come face to face with His Sovereignty, Divinity and Humanity. It is AWE-some but as at the same time it is involving because right smash in the middle is You.
I share the testimony of Paul
"Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant - dog dung. I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ - God's righteousness. I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself" (Phillipians 3:8-10 MSG).
Stay tuned
Knowing God to me is like this:
Imagine being born in a place where they are no mirrors, no way of seeing a reflection. The only facial image you can see is those around you but you have never seen what your face look like. Wierd isn't it? You can analyze your body parts from the shoulders down, so you have some general idea about basic stuff like your skin color and you can feel parts like your nose but you have never seen it. You guess a lot of stuff about yourself. You imagine a lot of stuff about yourself. You assume a lot of stuff about your. Imagine one day, someone comes into your house and brings you a mirror and for the first time you have the reality of what you look like. You see You in the reflection of the mirror and immediately you know if all you had guessed, imagined or assumed about yourself is true.
Now in my analogy, God is the mirror. Here is how a mirror works:
"Light is a form of energy, and when it hits a surface, such as a mirror, it is reflected or bounced from the surface. This is similar to a ball bouncing off a wall. The reflected image is comprised of photons, which are particles of light. When these photons initially hit the mirror they cause electrons to vibrate within atoms, which in turn produces an identical light photon" (Ann Johnson, eHow contributor). I hope that was not too much science...LOL.
Anyway, knowing God takes God. You cannot know Him without Him first showing up. In other words you cannot sneak up on God. Knowing God is when He allows the Light of His Presence to bounce off Himself and you come face to face with His Sovereignty, Divinity and Humanity. It is AWE-some but as at the same time it is involving because right smash in the middle is You.
I share the testimony of Paul
"Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant - dog dung. I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ - God's righteousness. I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself" (Phillipians 3:8-10 MSG).
Stay tuned
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The beginning...
I thank God daily for people He has placed in my life that constantly pray for me. When I too weak to do this on my own, there is always someone mentioning my name. I know this for a fact, not only because people occasionally tells me "I am praying for you" but because I see the results of their prayers in my life.
So the pit experience is awful and my energy is drained. I no longer have a vision or enthusiasm for anything. INDIFFERENCE - because my closest friend. Not good at all, because indifference is one of those "weights" that Paul talks about in scripture that can easily beset you. The good thing about this time in my life however is that I have a lot of thinking time. There is no one to talk to - except God - and since there is not much you can do in terms of productivity then you have a lot of time on your hands. This is where the rubber hits the road and you will know if all the preaching, singing and dancing were in vain. Do you really have faith or were you just following the crowd? Is God really real or is He just a hyped figment meant to brainwash you? Questions like these comes rushing in when you are in a pit and you will question every truth you have ever believed.
I have often heard the statement that you cannot truly discover who you are until you know who God is. It is one of those things you hear preachers speak that sounds good and it is easy to adapt but few take the time to understand its meaning. Well, it was while I was in the pit that the truth of this statement came rushing in. Because I had a hard time understanding why God would allow me to be in the pit in the first place. As far as I knew, I was walking according to His Will and doing what He commanded me to do. So why the pit?
So here is where my journey actually began... because I discovered that God wanted me to know Him.
Stay tuned.
So the pit experience is awful and my energy is drained. I no longer have a vision or enthusiasm for anything. INDIFFERENCE - because my closest friend. Not good at all, because indifference is one of those "weights" that Paul talks about in scripture that can easily beset you. The good thing about this time in my life however is that I have a lot of thinking time. There is no one to talk to - except God - and since there is not much you can do in terms of productivity then you have a lot of time on your hands. This is where the rubber hits the road and you will know if all the preaching, singing and dancing were in vain. Do you really have faith or were you just following the crowd? Is God really real or is He just a hyped figment meant to brainwash you? Questions like these comes rushing in when you are in a pit and you will question every truth you have ever believed.
I have often heard the statement that you cannot truly discover who you are until you know who God is. It is one of those things you hear preachers speak that sounds good and it is easy to adapt but few take the time to understand its meaning. Well, it was while I was in the pit that the truth of this statement came rushing in. Because I had a hard time understanding why God would allow me to be in the pit in the first place. As far as I knew, I was walking according to His Will and doing what He commanded me to do. So why the pit?
So here is where my journey actually began... because I discovered that God wanted me to know Him.
Stay tuned.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Pit versus Wilderness
I want to express that when I speak of life in the pit, it is not to be confused with life in the wilderness. They are not the same place even though some symptoms of both may be the same.
A wilderness is a barren, deserted land left in its natural state. Figuratively speaking when Christians refer to a wilderness experience they are referring to a circumstance of loss, disappointment, heartbreak etc. The idea of being in a wilderness is that is should be a temporary junction between where you are coming from and where you are going. Like the children of Israel who travelled from Egypt through the wilderness to get to the Promise Land. In this place you can experience lonely and sadness as you work through whatever you are going through.
A pit however is different. Scriptures compares it to Hell. You may have heard of the bottomless pit. All throughout scripture David speaks of his soul being caught up in the pit, a place of so much loneliness and despair until he thought he would surely die. In the pit there is no vision... And without vision one is doomed to perish. Medically speaking a pit is often a place of depression. Of course a wilderness experience and lead you into a pit. Often this happens. Someone losses someone and the weight of the loss gets so heavy until they eventually falls into a pit.
Maybe my pit journey started from a wilderness experience. Maybe I dealt too long on the losses I had in life and it eventually pushed me into this place, but I am telling you that both places are different. In Bible days they would roll a stone over a pit and use it as a dungeon for prisoners. A pit is a burial place... it is where you enemies hope you will die. It is where they want to silence you and hope that you will never live to speak another word. But it is also a place where God can have His Glory out of your life.
Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up , and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me. Psalm 69:15 (KJV).
A wilderness is a barren, deserted land left in its natural state. Figuratively speaking when Christians refer to a wilderness experience they are referring to a circumstance of loss, disappointment, heartbreak etc. The idea of being in a wilderness is that is should be a temporary junction between where you are coming from and where you are going. Like the children of Israel who travelled from Egypt through the wilderness to get to the Promise Land. In this place you can experience lonely and sadness as you work through whatever you are going through.
A pit however is different. Scriptures compares it to Hell. You may have heard of the bottomless pit. All throughout scripture David speaks of his soul being caught up in the pit, a place of so much loneliness and despair until he thought he would surely die. In the pit there is no vision... And without vision one is doomed to perish. Medically speaking a pit is often a place of depression. Of course a wilderness experience and lead you into a pit. Often this happens. Someone losses someone and the weight of the loss gets so heavy until they eventually falls into a pit.
Maybe my pit journey started from a wilderness experience. Maybe I dealt too long on the losses I had in life and it eventually pushed me into this place, but I am telling you that both places are different. In Bible days they would roll a stone over a pit and use it as a dungeon for prisoners. A pit is a burial place... it is where you enemies hope you will die. It is where they want to silence you and hope that you will never live to speak another word. But it is also a place where God can have His Glory out of your life.
Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up , and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me. Psalm 69:15 (KJV).
Friday, November 26, 2010
Life in the Pit
As I stated I am not sure how I arrived into this dark place I just knew that I was there. Often I wonder if maybe I am to blame for being there, but I found out it was doing me no good to dwell on the how dids and the what ifs of life. I am not interested in getting all defensive either and telling folks not to judge me. Frankly it does not matter what folks say about you if their intention is not to help you. What I do know is that I did not intentionally toss myself into this pit. If I was at fault for being there, is was more an error of the heart and not the head. No one with a sound mind would ask to be placed in a dark, lonely, scary place.
And yes, life in the pit is just that. It is a form of prison but with no warden or guards to watch for your welfare. You are trapped in your mind and it may take you a few days, weeks, months, years.... to finally understand your real dilemna. I realized I was in the pit after several failed attempts to be my usual self. I had lost all interests in the things that use to matter. I use to enjoy praying and studying my bible but even that became a sad thing to do. Some days I made great process and I thought I would succeed until I would grasp for something that was not there and come crashing back to the bottom of the pit. Life in the pit is not easy and not easy to explain. At one point I was afraid to pray..literally. Why? Because each time I prayed I became so sad all I did was cry. I would cry and could not pinpoint the reason why. At first I though I was just into a form of worship.. (who knows maybe I did) and I felt like Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, but after a while I did not enjoy just crying all the time and I allowed that fear to push praying further and further away. And what was a pleasant pasttime became a hugh mountain because I prayed because I needed to not because I wanted to. Reading my bible would have a very negative effect on my thought life. Everything I read pointed to how far I was from God and the more I read it was the deeper I sank.
Life in the pit is a daily struggle and before long weariness started to set in. On those days I felt like David when he wrote in the Psalms, "Fear and trembling overwhelm me. I can't stop shaking. Oh, how I wish I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! " Psalm 55:6-7.
And yes, life in the pit is just that. It is a form of prison but with no warden or guards to watch for your welfare. You are trapped in your mind and it may take you a few days, weeks, months, years.... to finally understand your real dilemna. I realized I was in the pit after several failed attempts to be my usual self. I had lost all interests in the things that use to matter. I use to enjoy praying and studying my bible but even that became a sad thing to do. Some days I made great process and I thought I would succeed until I would grasp for something that was not there and come crashing back to the bottom of the pit. Life in the pit is not easy and not easy to explain. At one point I was afraid to pray..literally. Why? Because each time I prayed I became so sad all I did was cry. I would cry and could not pinpoint the reason why. At first I though I was just into a form of worship.. (who knows maybe I did) and I felt like Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, but after a while I did not enjoy just crying all the time and I allowed that fear to push praying further and further away. And what was a pleasant pasttime became a hugh mountain because I prayed because I needed to not because I wanted to. Reading my bible would have a very negative effect on my thought life. Everything I read pointed to how far I was from God and the more I read it was the deeper I sank.
Life in the pit is a daily struggle and before long weariness started to set in. On those days I felt like David when he wrote in the Psalms, "Fear and trembling overwhelm me. I can't stop shaking. Oh, how I wish I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! " Psalm 55:6-7.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
What is a Pit?
A pit is a large dark hole in the ground that is normally deep and not easy to get out of. Because it is just dug from the earth you cannot just walk out of it as you wish. If you fall into a pit and there is no one around to see you go in then you could die there. In other words, a pit can be a dangerous place. In today's society pits are not so common except probably rural areas where farmers still use them as a source of storing water for their livestock.
A pit experience is thus horrible because your efforts to come out can result in you digging yourself deeper in. The mud in the pit can cause a landslide and bury you within. You get the picture!!
So how does this relate to my life. Here it goes. One day I woke up and found myself in a deep dark place, helpless and unable to get out to a place of relief. In my mind I could not move. I felt as if life had stopped, and I was a total failure to God. I had no desire to do anything and the darkness even though frightening was also comforting. Nothing I did could shake what I was feeling. I tried to pray and failed at that too. I have never felt so alone. Now as a minister of God's word I thought I should be able to just quickly beat this. I started to speak a few words of rebuke but they sounded so shallow., as if I did not even believe them myself and the devils were just laughing at my attempt.
How did I get to this low place? How could I get out? Would anyone hear me and help me? These questions kept going through my mind. Whew!!! This is a horrible place to be in for a child of God.
Don't turn a deaf ear when I call you, God. If all I get from you is deafening silence, I'd be better off in the Black Hole. Psalm 28:1 (MSG).
See you tommorow.
A pit experience is thus horrible because your efforts to come out can result in you digging yourself deeper in. The mud in the pit can cause a landslide and bury you within. You get the picture!!
So how does this relate to my life. Here it goes. One day I woke up and found myself in a deep dark place, helpless and unable to get out to a place of relief. In my mind I could not move. I felt as if life had stopped, and I was a total failure to God. I had no desire to do anything and the darkness even though frightening was also comforting. Nothing I did could shake what I was feeling. I tried to pray and failed at that too. I have never felt so alone. Now as a minister of God's word I thought I should be able to just quickly beat this. I started to speak a few words of rebuke but they sounded so shallow., as if I did not even believe them myself and the devils were just laughing at my attempt.
How did I get to this low place? How could I get out? Would anyone hear me and help me? These questions kept going through my mind. Whew!!! This is a horrible place to be in for a child of God.
Don't turn a deaf ear when I call you, God. If all I get from you is deafening silence, I'd be better off in the Black Hole. Psalm 28:1 (MSG).
See you tommorow.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The Journey Out of the Pit
I want to share with everyone and maybe just maybe it will help someone to get out of the many pitfals that life hands them and lead them to a place of success and peace. As a christian I believe that I was created with purpose and nothing I do is accidental. I believe that the God of the Universe had a deliberate reason for allowing me time in this space we call life.
I want to base my blog on the life of a young man in scripture called Joseph. He was a favorite of his father out a lot of 12 boys and this along with the fact that he was known as a dreamer, caused his to be hated by his brothers. Now you don't have to think you are someone special for someone else to not like you. As a part of life, others will often just not like you...just because. So can you please everyone? Absolutely not!!! If you try, you are just wasting your time. People have their own reasons for not liking you and there is nothing you can do about it.
On a daily basis I will share my story. I am not saying that my life is like Joseph but I have a lot of similiarities. And like Joseph I did end up in the pit.
Keep tuned.
I want to base my blog on the life of a young man in scripture called Joseph. He was a favorite of his father out a lot of 12 boys and this along with the fact that he was known as a dreamer, caused his to be hated by his brothers. Now you don't have to think you are someone special for someone else to not like you. As a part of life, others will often just not like you...just because. So can you please everyone? Absolutely not!!! If you try, you are just wasting your time. People have their own reasons for not liking you and there is nothing you can do about it.
On a daily basis I will share my story. I am not saying that my life is like Joseph but I have a lot of similiarities. And like Joseph I did end up in the pit.
Keep tuned.
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